The First Days of College

As the last few free days of my summer come to a close, I have mixed feelings about my beginnings as a college student.  Probably as cliché as any other, but they are still there nonetheless.  Over the past few years, I had to teach myself to find happiness where there was little to be found.  And it took me awhile to get to a place where I knew who I was and what it is I wanted to do.

I have never been a particularly exciting person, but preparing a speech, reading a new book, or writing a short story have been exciting enough.  In the small community where I grew up, there was little in the excitement department.  So I found my own excitement.  While others decided to live the “party” lifestyle, I went in a different route.  So far, it has served me well.

Getting to college has been a bit more challenging than I first expected, however.  I was not at all afraid of being on my own, but rather trying to work into the much more upbeat lifestyle.  I have only found comfort in the workroom of the college speech team, but even then, I have had a feeling of being out of place (which almost never happens on a speech team).  I know this feeling will pass as I get to know everyone, but it has opened my eyes a bit.

There is a huge gap between high school and college.  Many college students get away and feel free for the first time.  Free to do whatever they want.  It doesn’t necessarily need to be this way.  If rules in high school were slightly more relaxed, this would be less of an issue with college freshmen.  Now, I am not saying every high school senior should live in an apartment for a year before college as I did, or should be able to come and go as they please, but they should each be put in a position to feel both the pressures and excitements of the real world.

I can oftentimes remember when, for a speech, I would have to cut out material that may be too “inappropriate” or risqué for some.  So over the past three years this was my mindset: “Oh! There is a cussword! We can’t have that, can we?”  But I get to college and I am frowned at for my lack “inappropriateness.”

My only regret coming out of high school was that I was not exposed to more of this lifestyle because I never had the chance to accept or deny it.  Now I know it is not a path I want to choose, even though I have never experienced it.  Even as I finish this short entry, I question whether or not I believe what I am saying.  This transition has caused me to question myself early on, but there are a few things that I am certain of:  I like learning; I find giving a speech both nerve wracking and exciting.  You can have your parties, drink your drinks, socialize with everyone on the campus, or do whatever it is you think you should be doing at college, and I will stay home and read a good book, as I imagine the other nerds will.